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Keys for Creating a Positive Life
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View yourself and your life
through the eyes of Love and Compassion
instead of judgments and criticism.
Acceptance Compassion
Forgiveness
Love
Expansion
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How do I view my life and my experiences?
What choices am I making in my life now?
We are responsible for our focus and our choices.
Audios available below
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Rev. Jan Collins, M.Ed.
Special Counseling Introductory Rate
$25 for an hour available for the first two one-hour sessions
via ZOOM sessions
484-416-3828
Hours by appointment
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A free introductory 30-minute phone informational consultation for counseling
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SUPPORTING YOURSELF THRU DIFFICULT TIMES
See below
I accept, love and appreciate myself
for who I am
what I am
and
where I am
in my life right now.
Tension is who you think you should be.
Relaxation is who you are.
How can you experience anyone's love
- your own, others' or God's -
if you criticize yourself or others,
worry about the past or future
or hold onto unforgiving positions?
We are responsible for our focus and our choices.
Consider that each of us is always doing the best we can at any moment, given what we know, what we have and what we can do.
Consider that the key to working through our upsets is an inner process, regardless of outer events.
Consider that every new event or challenge in our life is an opportunity for learning and growth moving us to higher levels.
"In the span of just one session, Jan helped me recognize self-defeating behaviors and emotions that I had been experiencing without even knowing it for more than twenty years. She helped me to re-orient to my body's most basic needs, and to nurture the body, rather than fight it.
The changes that I made after our session were genuinely transformative. They helped bring about a major improvement in my health and sense of well-being. I cannot thank her enough." P. Berman, Philadelphia
Judgments, criticisms, worries, fears, unforgiveness - I have found that these types of negativity can block us from experiencing our inherent loving nature*** and our greater potential.
Love is the nature of our center, our enthusiasm, our spirit, our soul - by whatever name we recognize it.
*** Our Loving Nature ***
As an experiment, focus on someone or something that brings up loving feelings inside you. It may be a child, spouse, pet, beautiful scene in nature, music, art, favorite vacation spot, etc. If you have conflicting feelings for someone (e.g. currently feeling irritated with the person), please choose someone else. For about a minute, focus on those feelings of your love for someone or something.
Now - what does that feel like in your body? Focus for a few seconds. What are you experiencing in your body? Common responses are: sensations of warmth, relaxation, softness, peace.
In contrast, when you have felt angry or worried, what did that feel like in your body? Common responses are tension, tight muscles, headaches, stomach acid, stressed.
My conclusion is that my body is telling me to resolve the negative areas, and to spend my time as much as possible in positive, loving energy.
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Our physical being seems to be reflecting a core message that being positive and loving may be our natural, healthy state, inherent in our make-up.
Medical research seems to confirm this as it shows that positive thoughts and feelings enhance health through endorphins, while prolonged negative ones can stimulate stress hormones.
I see the body as a reflection of our center, our spirit, our soul - being grounded in loving. The body also is a link for experiencing our spirituality - through breathing, chanting, etc.
Integrating the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of your life.
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Disclaimer: The information provided on this website is for general informational and educational purposes only and should not be seen as medical, health, nutritional, psychological or any type of advice. Individual circumstances vary greatly and please consult with a professional directly about your individual situation before taking any kind of action.
Rev. Jan Collins, M.Ed.
Chaplaincy Services for Organizations
Spirituality Groups
In-Service Meetings
Individual Consultations
Classes, Presentations
Non-denominational and Ecumenical
Providing Spiritual and
Emotional Support
For discovering what spirituality means for us and how it can support us through life experiences, especially transitional ones.
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Classes, Presentations at Your Site
View yourself and your life
through the eyes of
Love and Compassion
instead of judgments and criticism.
***************************************
How do I view my life and my experiences?
What choices am I making in my life now?
We are responsible for our focus and our choices.
***************************************
In many ways, we can create and provide what we need to help and nourish ourself. We can do something right now to improve our own personal, daily experience. We can do it for ourselves. We don't have to wait for someone or something else to change.
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When you were born, likely people oohed and aahed over you, "How sweet! How adorable!" That 'you' is still here. It may have gotten overshadowed by difficult experiences, diminishing learnings and the like. Yet, that 'you' is still here.
Judgments, criticisms, worries, fears, unforgiveness - I have found that these types of negativity can block us from experiencing our inherent loving nature and our greater potential.
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My perspective is that our spirituality is who we are - our spirit, our center, our energy, our life force, our soul. It's how we connect with and express our loving nature, and it can guide us to the vision or purpose we have for our life. I see love as the heart of spirituality.
For some, spirituality can provide a connection with what they see as a higher purpose, an integration with a oneness and a wholeness, an expansion of consciousness and an openness to loving service.
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Forgiving Ourself - Forgiving our judgments that can block us from awareness of our loving self. Please click below:
Finding the Spirit Within - Moving away from beliefs and toward experiencing a connection to find the Spirit within. Please click below:
Please see disclaimer at the end of this section.
All types of thoughts pop into our minds during the day. Look at the thoughts you repeat in your mind, what you keep thinking about. If they are negative or scary ("What if so and so happens?"), you could be creating fear or depression for yourself. Focus on what you want to happen, not on what you don’t want to happen. E.g. "I’m looking forward to talking with my friend tonight. I'm building inner peace for myself . Next week I'm going hiking."
When changes are going on, remind yourself of what has stayed the same, for a sense of consistency - whichever is relevant for you: home, family , friends, job, car, church group, Internet, taking a walk, phone contact, TV, etc. Keep as many routines as possible: e.g. laundry every Wednesday, yoga at 9 am, etc. What resources are available?
Look for the benefits or blessings resulting from the current situation. For example during the covid quarantine, people have reported having more time for many things they didn’t have time to do before, e.g. doing home repair projects, renewing relationships, taking walks, developing new abilities, etc.
Fear sometimes comes from telling ourselves we know what is going to happen even though we don't really know. Catastrophizing about the future. It might work better just to tell ourselves we don't have enough information right now to know what will be happening the next day, next week, next month. We can do the best we can with what is actually going on right now. We can be positive, or at least stay neutral about the future, and wait and see what actually does happen. Then we can respond to what actually does happen.
There's a difference between planning ahead (gathering information for informed action) and emotionalizing ahead (worrying about the unknown). We can prevent negative thoughts and feelings from running us.
Say encouraging, reassuring statements to yourself: “I can do this. I can find a way through this. If I need help, I am willing to ask for it. I know many people are willing to help others. We’re all doing this together." Remind yourself of your strengths.
Stay in the present. What can you handle or enjoy that is in front of you right now? Keep it simple.
Gratitude for things big or small is a great way to lift your mood.
Fun, humor, laughter, joy, movement, positive attitudes support the immune system, per research.
Humor - a great way to lift yourself. Watch funny movies, search for funny/pet YouTube videos, find good jokes on the Internet and share some with your friends, enjoy the many silly moments that can happen during the day.
Sound and movement help to ease the ’down’ feelings. Use your voice: talk with someone, sing, hum, whistle, tone. Activity: dance, walk, march in place to music, do yoga, jump rope, etc.
Connect with people - visit or talk with loved ones or friends, by phone (video if available), email, Zoom, Facebook, etc. Enjoy online scrabble, chess, etc, with friends or play a game with players registered online. Organize a nature walk. Pets can be great company too!
Develop positive daily practices to keep positive energy moving for you. For example, think of one positive statement about yourself or others or something significant, and say it out loud several times a day. Next day, use the same statement or do a new one. Read out loud some nurturing, supportive passages in books, online - in affirmation books, Bible, etc. Take a walk and sing or hum.
Look for new resources for recreation: e.g. play scrabble online with someone who is at a different location, jigsaw puzzles, new hobby, gardening, etc. Many museums have put virtual tours online.
Minimize the time listening to news, only what is really necessary. Listening for extended time is like immersing yourself in drama and trauma, and can have a scary or depressing effect on you.
Do nourishing activities to uplift yourself: rest, meditation, walks, pray, sing, dance, deep breathing, care for and play with pets, exercise, sleep, journal writing, read poetry (available online also), tend to plants and gardens, play, talk with loved ones and friends, by phone (video if available), etc. YouTube has things like ocean wave sounds and nature sounds you can have playing in the background for long periods of time - put your feet up and cup of tea, or at bedtime. Nurturing, relaxing.
Even if you don’t think you need it, try a nourishing activity and see if it makes a difference for you.
Look for more beauty. It can help handling things that are not so beautiful. Examples: your garden, pets, music, pictures, people helping people, a brightly-colored throw pillow or afghan, flowers and trees, etc. Search online for things like 'beautiful gardens' or 'famous paintings', etc.
Express loving. For example, self-appreciations: "I like how I finished that project. I like the flowers I put on the table. I appreciate my persistence in resolving that problem. I see that I am a generous person." For others: expressing gratitude to a friend for being thoughtful, petting your dog, helping someone buy groceries, planting new flowers in your loved garden.
Journal writing - you can use it like a good friend, and tell it your experiences for the day, your joys and concerns, and your thoughts and feelings about things, so you can express them and not keep thinking about them so much. You can also note and expand on any new discoveries, learnings and insights.
If you are experiencing difficulties, look for the resources you need. Some options: your local clergy, your medical plan nurse hotline, your doctor's office,counseling services, county and state assistance programs, online tele-health sources with checking to be sure they are authentic.
From a spiritual perspective, ask God for clarity, guidance and assistance with all levels - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, etc.
Right now we need a lot of patience, persistence and caring with ourselves, and with others.
Know that inner peace is possible even if outer circumstances are a challenge.
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VACCINE AND SIMILAR SITUATIONS - An option to consider for relaxing yourself
One way to approach receiving a vaccine or similar situations is to hold positive energy about it. In whatever framework you use, before and during receiving the vaccine, you can visualize Light or grace of God or loving energy filling all the cells of your body. Maybe continue doing this daily until the fully effective date for the vaccine is reached. When receiving the vaccine, you can visualize the cells of your body welcoming the new arrivals and thanking them for coming to help. You could see them inviting the new arrivals to communicate together to facilitate their interaction to make it smoother and more effective. And you can see all cells and new arrivals working well together.
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Disclaimer: The information provided on this website is for general informational and educational purposes only and should not be seen as medical, health, nutritional, psychological or any type of advice. Individual circumstances vary greatly and please consult with a professional directly about your individual situation before taking any kind of action.
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